Alright, so it’s already less than 12 days left ’till Christmas, but I don’t care! So here are theodd1sout’ 12 days of christmas … on a budget. Now, in the song “12 days of Christmas”, it
says that every day you get your true love something new PLUS everything you got them the day
before. Now, if we’re doing this on a budget then don’t do that – just get them one new
thing every day, like, you get them five golden rings every day for the next
eight days… That’s 40 rings! No one even has that
many fingers! So, let’s start day 1. No one wants a partridge. Pear trees, I mean, I can see that – I Freaking love
pears, but if we’re going on a budget here then get your true love… a stray cat in
a normal tree. It can be a pear tree, but I think the
cat will choose whatever tree is closest. That costs no money – that present is free.
We’re doing good with our wallets. Two turtle doves… No one even knows what a turtle dove is! Turtle dove… that sounds like something out of Avatar, like, you know how they
would have mixed animals? So let’s just use our imagination – what if
instead we just get turtles and tape wings to them. How much for turtles? Hmm… let’s use our imagination again and
get another aquatic animal – goldfish from Petsmart. They can’t be that expensive- Happy Holidays and thank you for calling Petsmart! For the fish, bird, small animal and reptile information press “3”. *presses 3* *hold music plays, James sighs* Thanks for calling Petsmart, this is Nikki speaking. – Uh, hi, I was wondering, do you guys have goldfish? – We do! – How much are they? – Uh, it varies on what kind of goldfish you’re talking about. Um, just, like, feeder fish. – We do, so, our big ones are 29 cents; our smaller ones are 14 cents and then we have the rosey-reds, which are 14 cents. – Oh, alright, thank you! – No problem, have a good day! You too! Thanks, Nikki. Day 3: Three french hens. Why not american hens? You know, keep it local. AND they would make eggs, so you’d get free eggs! Believe it or not, people actually have
chickens as pets… for getting free eggs. I remember that the house that was
behind and diagonal to me actually had pet chickens. So this one is actually the most useful gift, probably, I dunno… It might cost a little, but hey! Free eggs for life! …or
until the chicken dies. 🙁 Day 4: What’s with all these birds?! Does your true love really want a pet bird that badly? OK. Get them four… pigeons! You know, the song never specified what type of bird are the calling birds. After doing some extensive research… On Yahoo answers… I found that the song was originally
supposed to be “four colly birds”. What the freak are those?! Just get your true love pigeons, I mean, pigeons are probably just as cool as colly birds. I mean, listen to these pigeon calls! *pigeon noises* Yeaaaah. This is easy. Get them ring pops. I honestly would prefer ring pops over… solid gold. Well, you don’t really need six geese of laying. You already have three chickens, so just skip this one. Or you can just give them six eggs that your three chickens have already produced by now. Seven swans of swimming. You don’t want swans, no, no, no, no. Get them ducks! Rubber ducks! They want rubber ducks… or rubber swans, even better! …But we’re going for budget here, so… rubber ducks. Instead of eight maids of milking, get eight… migrant workers. Mmmm! We got it! Day 9: Nine ladies dancing. Dancing is already free. Just pay 15 dollars to get into a trashy night club before 10:00 and I guarantee you’ll find nine ladies dancing.
Man, you got your girl all these presents, you are just the king of romance!
Ten lords of leaping, huh? You know what lords have sometimes been known
to turn into? – Frogs. And you know what frogs are known for? – Leaping. So, just get your love 10 frogs and, depending where you live, frogs are free! But really, the
only place I can think of where frogs are expensive is France. Eleven pipers piping. Well, that’s going to get downgraded into a… *kazoo music plays* *even more kazoo music* And lastly, Twelve pugs. This one’s for personal reasons. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me 12 pugs, 11 *kazoo music*, 10 frogs, 9 ladies dancing, 8 mexicans, 7 rubber duckies, 6… 5 ring pops, 4 pigeons, 3 American
hens, 2 goldfish and a cat in a… normal, normal tree. Jeez, that was awful.