A Very Libertarian Christmas

Your money’s not here. It’s on the blockchain. It’s in Joe’s transaction and Mrs. Macklin’s
transaction. It’s a digital currency. Run down to the market and buy the biggest
turkey in all of London! Then take it to Bob Cratchit’s house. Do it fast and there’s half a crown it for
you. Well is that it? I’m sorry? That’s your contribution to society, huh? Half a crown and a turkey? I also donate to charity! Oh, great charity! Where you get to decide
where your money goes! Yes. Wow. Yes, after I pay federal and state and local
taxes; the remaining money, I dictate where it goes
to. That is so like the One Percent! it’s people
like you who are destroying America! Or Britain… or wherever the hell we are. Do you donate money to charity, sir? I raise awareness on Facebook. That doesn’t sound like a real thing. It’s a real thing! Why don’t you do that and volunteer at a soup
kitchen ? I don’t have time to volunteer because I’m
raising awareness on Facebook! And when the shepherd saw the light in the
sky, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy, for the
Space X Falcon 9 rocket had successfully launched the satellite into orbit and returned autonomously
to their platform. No no, I want an official Red Rider carbine
action 200 shot range model air rifle! Sure, kid. We need these tariffs. Our trade deficit with the North Pole has
never been bigger. Santa is killing us on trade. He’s killing us. There’s a trade deficit between me and the
grocery store that doesn’t mean I need to have more taxes
on me buying groceries. Oh, hi. [Off screen] Who is it? It’s carol singers. [Music plays: Silent Night] …and paste him in a manger because there
was no room at the inn, for the City Council had banned Airbnb as
anti-competitive. All these people are talking about Santa’s
naughty list and his nice list, but it’s his kill list that should concern
us! [Music plays: Silent Night] You’ve got a foreigner violating DC airspace and you’re telling me we don’t need a wall? Listen kiddo, you’re getting older and it’s
time we had a talk. There’s no such thing as Sanders. The man
is real, but the policies are just fantasy. It’s something that we made up so that kids
and college sophomores would have something to get excited about. You selfish undemocratic prick! I don’t understand what you want from me! You have too much stuff! Give us your stuff! The system which incentivizes me to
accumulate stuff also incentivizes me to create wealth for you. Oh, well then, why are there poor people? Abject poverty is the natural state of man. The question isn’t why there are poor people,
it’s why there are rich people. Just give me your stuff! No! Gahh, I am so going to picket this house. Huhaha! Good luck going to a
restaurant, buddy. We’re going to be there.

100 thoughts on “A Very Libertarian Christmas”

  1. Very Well Done….. of course that means a "but" is coming. Anybody could've guessed that a "but" was coming, including my cat "mouse" for Pete's sake! And frankly speaking, even for an effig' cat, he's not that bright. After all that I don't know if you deserve my slightly negative, but in the long run, I think it's a helpful comment. You really do NOT …. I mean
    you've done everything to make me just wanna keep it to myself. and that'e no man feat.

    If I didn't need my computer back, I'd just glare at your filthy screen, and no I'm not going to clan it. That is NOT happening. ,,, ok, I was gia tell you how it felt good to laugh for a change,the material as reverential was solid, BUT ffing BUT, IT might be a result of a dearth of meaningful comedy on all levels. You know who is killing IT faster than th few decent comics can com up with ew stuff. I hate to say it but it's a TIPPING point thing. Kinda like a dwindling population, that can't replace itself. How about the upcoming generation thing, how's that look? . Huh?

  2. I don’t have time to work in a soup kitchen, because I’m too busy trying to save the Libertarian Party. I give money to charity, that way the professionals can help people.

  3. (2:24) This is how ALL of Remy's fans look when he releases a new parody. …So sexy.
    (2:36) Sorry, Virginia. Sanders Claus isn't real.

  4. The conclusion that gift exchanges are inefficient relies on ignoring the emotional and social value of exchanging gifts with family and friends. The activity is not meant to maximize the utility of the capital, but to strengthen social bonds, which indirectly affects many aspects of the participants' lives.

  5. Cant even imagine how advanced society would be under libertarianism, like low skilled jobs wouldnt exist, the red be no welfare and instead a universal basic income since robots do all the unskilled work. Companies are incentivised to automate provided they pay an automation tax. Other than automation tax, taxes stay as low as possible. Public transport would be fully private with self driving, cheap buses. Only high demand tech degrees would be subsidized

  6. Poverty is the natural state of men… so true
    Its hard to make young men understand that without work nothing can be achieved. They think wealth is some natural substance in the planet and then unjust society conspire to deprive them of it.
    Much more preferable is classic and nietzchean virtue…. want glory(or wealth)? Go and take it!

  7. Santa gave the "Christmas Story" kid a fully semi-automatic laser-guided heat-seeking high capacity assault weapon capable of firing 1000 rounds per minute… cool.

  8. Libertarians I seen you guys do pro Trump stuff and anti Trump stuff however there is one thing you can learn and respect about him. He took over the Republican Party. Then went on to win the biggest political upset in American history.
    My point libertarians can do the same especially in states like New York, New Hampshire, Maine, Montana, Colorado, and even Texas. So just do it. Your politics are very attractive. People forget back in 2008 when O was running the 2nd most popular guy on college campus was Ron Paul.

  9. 0:50 I literally had this exact same dialog with someone online once. That year I was fortunate enough to make enough to donate several thousands of dollars to charity – my online debate opponent claimed that them voting Democrat politicians who vowed to raise taxes on the wealthy was charitable and their contribution. I shit you not. This is not hyperbole – people truly believe that voting is tantamount to charity.

  10. Now for the new years resolution:
    Read "Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community" by Robert D. Putnam
    Read "The Bell Curve" by Charles Murray
    Read "The Culture of Critique" by Dr. Kevin Macdonald

    These books will split your wig.

  11. You forgot that gift giving is actually giving an obligation to reciprocate gift giving which is rape. Everything to libertarians is either rape or theft.

  12. "Placed him in a manager because there was no room at the inn because the city council had banned Airbnb as anticompetitive"

    Yesss to true

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