Christmas Elves vs. Fantasy Elves

(instrumental holiday music) – Mm. (sighs) (bells clanging) – Well frost my toes. Who could that be? – I don’t know. (door opens) Talario. What a surprise. – Talario? – Greetings, mother and father. Long have been the hours of my journey to arrive here for Christmas. – What the fudge are you wearing? – Oh, these are my iron silk robes. Light as a feather, but strong… – You look ridiculous is what I’m saying. – Jingle! – He does! You ever seen an elf wear
something like this before? No tights, there’s no bells. That long cape, that’ll get stuck in a toy machine for sure. Your former lets you wear that? – Okay, all the elves in
Calandale wear iron silk, Dad. – If you can call them real elves. – Wow. – Tell us all about Calandale,
how is everything there? – Oh mom, it’s honestly great. The shining jewel of the east, where a multitude of voices rise to sing the secrets of
the world to the fires. – So loud. – You still in that little hut? – Hut, for real? – That expensive little
hut, last time we saw you. – Ah yes, dwelling the
house of the crescent moon if that is what you mean. – It’s much cheaper to live here. There’s a gingerbread house
for sale on Bubblegum Way, it only costs three songs. – Well, mom, it sounds great honestly. But you know. Then I’d have to live here. – And what’s wrong with living here? – It’s small and it’s quite cold. And everybody that lives here
has to work for Santa Claus. – Has to? Gets to! That’s good honest elf work there. What do you do in the big city, huh? – What do I do? – What do you do? – I forge fallen stars into
the blades of champions! I whisper in champions into the shields, the realms of man. – You make money off of that? – Jingle. – I’m curious, I don’t understand. Do people pay for that? – You know, maybe I don’t
make a toymaker’s salary, Dad. But at least I’m not a
slave to a fat human. (gasps) – Oh no, no. What do you say? What do you say? You do not talk about Santa like that, not under this roof, you hear me? – I’m sure he didn’t mean it. – I did mean it Mom,
Santa is a dark wizard who has enslaved the heaps of elves. – No, you’re wrong. You take that back. – We don’t have to talk politics. – Santa is a good man, he gave us dignity and he gave us jobs, alright? You could learn a thing or two from him, like how to make a wooden train, for one. Or a dolly? I bet you can’t even do a merry jig. Huh huh huh? Can you do a merry jig? Can you Tolario? Huh? You know this song. Tra la la la la la la la la. We are Santa’s elves, tra la la la la la. We are Santa’s elves. – Jingle, let’s not do this. – What? Come on, you’re an elf,
start acting like one. – I don’t think it’s a mystery that I have never enjoyed jigging. – No. No you didn’t, did you? You never cared for jigging, it was always the ancient magic business,
or the secret Lord that. You couldn’t just be a normal elf. – Whoa, okay, hold up. Hold up, hold up. What is a normal elf to you? – I’m a normal elf. – That’s super racist. – Hm? Oh, I guess everything’s racist now. – Chi elves, North Pole elves,
wood elves, blood elves? – No no no, you get out. You get out, you hear me? Get out, go back to your
roads and your tree spirits. – Jokes on you Dad, because roads and tree spirits kick ass. – No it’s weird. It’s weird, you should
be offended by that. – I’m going to see what my
high school friends are up to. I received a message from Chad and T-Bone, by raven that they were going to hang out at Cumby’s later and do whippets. – No, they’re at the workshop. They’re at the workshop,
where you should be too! – Alright, I think I’m just
gonna get my bow and head out. – Torario, please stay. You only just got here. I’m sure Jingle’s sorry. – I’m not. – Before I go, a single gift in parting. A flower of the sun at dawn,
may shine a light for you when all seems lost and merciless. – Aw. You didn’t even wrap it!

100 thoughts on “Christmas Elves vs. Fantasy Elves”

  1. A fat jolly old man who gives free toys to kids, is a dark wizard- so says the mercenary Elf who's clearly a war profiteer. Forging stars into a champions blade, wearing iron silk, and whispering enchantments into shields. Dress it up however you like, Tolario, you're basically an arms dealer who lives in a compound where everyone wears high-tech body armor.

  2. Wait, wait…
    How many songs does a toy maker make in a year? I mean the ginger bread house is just 3 songs…

  3. Wait, an elf smith? He should be getting props as a prodigy if he's actually competing with the Dwarves.

  4. Honestly one of my favorite skits. Everybody in it was on top of their game. And the comedy was all on point.

  5. Trapp doesn't get nearly enough credit for his acting. He really commits to every character he plays, just as much as Brennan.

  6. Wait… is Drow a racist term? Or is it more politically correct than Dark Elves? Also, he forgot Eladrin and Sea Elves.

  7. i really want this to be some sort of movie or series or something where it turns out Santa is just an evil dude who managed to enslave elves, forcing them to remain in a state of eternal adolescence to maintain full dominance over them.

  8. The father was not conservative, he was ridiculous, and this because the directer (and or actors) can't understand what a conservative is. A good actor can play a role that he disagree with, (you can play a Nazi without being a Nazi). I just hoppend that CollegeHumor could have remembered what humour is.
    Try to get Tim Allan if ye can, he gets "conservative dad" right.

  9. This vid was truly inspired! [Tolkien vs. (late 19th cent.) Wall St.] You guys really Rock.[Is Archie Bunker in the house?]

  10. He comes back later with a Dark elf girl friend that will bring the racist up to another level. I can just see the dad elf now. Then I'd come in as a California Orc dude friend to the son elf. An say "Little dad dude, get with the program, it ain't like that NO more". Dad elf then fall flat to the ground in shock.

  11. This is Choice! I have often wondered about the differences between these two incarnations of elves. Great to see them compared in all their glory.

  12. i wish this was a series…. along with an orc who thinks his human.. and the tallest dwarf who actually is just a normal human raised by dwarves… and the most strongest hobbit ever carrying a sword double his size he ends up dragging it along while saying his stealth is the best but cant keep his mouth shut about made up heroics that his done… they also have a wizard who actually is just a hobo they mistook for a wizard.

  13. Did anyone else get the mental image of Trump as Santa after that description of Santa?

    Sorry if I've ruined Santa for anyone.

  14. Accidentally hit the dislike button. Immediately liked and shared, but it was too late. Must have been my lack of toymaking experience that led to this.

  15. Well, There is a major height difference between the two species, Plus one is handy with weapons, The other with tools for making toys.

  16. Every elf goes through that whole dungeons and dragons phase. He'll come around one day. Afterall Santa offers a pension.

  17. The North pole would be less magically inclined ..The North of middle earth is said to be a cold wasteland so elves would get smaller if they lived their ..then again they are meant to be invisible by the time of the modern era

  18. Love this.

    Aw. You didn’t even wrap it. 😆
    This and Santa enslavment. Hilarious

    We need a jingle dance off.

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