Programs this Christmas Eve on BBC1 at three thirty John Cleese is Basil Fawlty
in Fawlty Towers It’s been an interesting fifteen years but all good things must come to an end I hope you enjoy your new [inaudible] oh fuck! At 4 o’clock, Under the Mistletow Yes, I am going, now. To give myself up But I have never felt more…awake oh fuck and shit! And at four forty five The Christmas Carol
#singing# Are we still going? Cunt! You’re a cunt! At 5.15, the Ken Dodd Christmas Special When Barbara Streisand was born the angels kissed her throat and she became a great singer. Unfortunately for the Asians Oh Bollocks! Followed at five forty five byte in the country
and Sue Lawley is all at sea You just keep breaking up and i just don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing at all at five fifty five the news from across the country in Nationwide The Common Market more than just the landscape of wine lakes and butter mountains. Fuck! And at six twenty five, Grandstand So from England’s point of view, everything worked out as
I’m sure they thought it would with a semifinal at Old Trafford against New Zealand, with the Oval… Shit At seven o’clock Mastermind introduced by Magnuss Magnusson
Which will include Australia’s own Mastermind John Bond. Oh Shit Then at seven thirty the final episode of doctor who.
Nobody in this fucking piece will shut up At eight o’clock a special presentation
of shakespeare’s as you like it ninny is this, thou scurvy patch? I do besiege thy greatness Oh for fuck’s sake! at nine o’clock comedy in the Beryl Reid Show.
Oh Shit! At nine thirty five, The Onedin Line Right, I want to see the [indistinct] oh fuck Then at ten o’clock Terry Wogan introduces
come dancing Now to the northwest, and it’s the Foxtrot. For them, Stuart Yo… oh shit! And at ten thirty, the Old Grey Whistle Test
With the Stranglers Any students from Guildford University? Fuck Off At five past 11, Better Golf. And this week special guest the true professional
Michael Parkinson. There’ll be some marvellous ones for the VTR Christmas Show from this series won’t there?
All the bloody effort that goes into it I’d just say bugger it if I were you, you don’t give a bugger
actually, ‘cos fuck them At 11.35, Isabelle’s Return.
Once we’re married nothing can part us. Oh fucking arseholes, I’ve just shit Programs this christmas eve on bbc two, err, one
Oh Fucking Arseholes. Can we do a take two on that again? this is bbc one and this is bbc two and this is television centre and this is David Dunsbury,
a Commissionaire on the main gate and this is the main gate and this is vision maintenance and this is
Pres A during the strike and this is the NODDY symbol and this is the symbol of peace and goodwill and this is a piece of good will and this is Benidorm, where I went on
holiday and this is a what is this This is Good Kink Memorex. A show with a royal
title featuring no royalty whatsoever after what happened last year now some boobs during the last year [laughter] what? Oh there’s somebody… Do you want to start again?