I’m a British voice on the internet and this
is MIXED EMOJI. It’s December, which can only mean one thing:
It’s December. Here’s an episode about THE TIDE OF YULE
[jingle bell] Look, I added a jingle bell and everything.
Let’s start with the season’s favourite benevolent bearded man, Father Christmas, also known
by his gamertag Santa Claus. The racial modifiers are available on the
Santa Claus emoji, which might upset those dreaming of a pure white Christmas.
The yellow beard on this Apple one – negated in the race packs – undercuts the neutral
race design. Samsung Santa is clearly right in the middle of a “ho”.
These lower ones lack the charisma of Father Charismas.
Is this Wario? Why are so many emoji Wario? It’s Google that got him exactly right. Mother Christmas, or Sandra Claus, is a character
from the expanded universe of commercial Christmas lore.
Being a female character, she mainly stays in the background and is only involved in
the story when feminine aspects are a necessary plot device. Sure, she’s occasionally seen
chatting with the female reindeer, but only about men. Her character is less established
than the Present Patriarch, but her introduction in Unicode 9 confirms her canonicity.
However, consensus has not yet been reached in her visual design. She’s an elder woman
in a red hat and glasses, but our emoji designers can’t yet decide whether she’s gormless, bald,
humble, Jonathan King, an emoji designed by a company who never win on this show any more,
a toothless enthusiast, a Minion, or portrayed by an actress in her 30s with unconvincing
ageing make-up. I approve of Microsoft’s Mummy C and her earmuff
bob. ♫ The Christmas Tree, the emoji,
Is decorated variously. With golden thread, or coloured balls.
Or just some dots, on triangles. The Christmas Tree, The Christmas Tree,
The Apple one does it for me. ♫ Snowflakes, now.
Disappointingly, if you post a row of snowflake emoji, you’ll find that they’re all the same.
Google, Microsoft, Emoji One… See me after class. Six points on a snowflake. Six points.
Emojidex got it good. When the Snowman brings the snow…
Snowmen are known to have flaky skin. Look at this low-effort entry from Google.
Grey snow, minimalist snowman design… though I like how he seems to be summoning snowballs
up from the floor. The expression on LG’s snowman’s face shows
exactly how a snowman built like that would feel. Even the falling snow doesn’t want to
touch him. Twitter… Notice how the arms on all of the
others are made from twigs, and right here we’ve got… Well, I guess they’re chicken
feet. There’s a chicken buried inside there. Sparkly.
I’ll have to credit Apple with the most convincing design here, though they only just added it.
Look at this 9.1 rubbish. There’s an emoji called Snowman Without Snow,
quite an intriguing concept. What is a snowman without snow? Would that just be a pile of twigs and a carrot? Or is it
just a man? There are more entries here… Here’s the
kid from One Piece. Messenger’s is the best. Now, the Christmas Present. Does anyone actually
give presents in ribbony cube boxes like this? I’ve got to credit Apple here; what an immaculate
bow. Aaaand, a festive Bell. Or, if you live in
Africa, the clanging chimes of doom. Yeah, I…
…only included this one to make that reference. Google. Well, that’s all we have time for. It just remains for me to wish you an enjoyable
late-December day of your choosing. But I’m not going to.
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