The Magnificent Three (KAA Christmas Party Short Film)

Out of my way you filthy dog. Come on, why don’t you dance for me? He’s like a popcorn on a hot stove! The final exams are gonna be like licking butter
off a knife. Long time no see, old pal. Way too long. What brings you here? Do I need a reason
to see a friend like you? Guess not. Well… Hey, alright. Much obliged. Long time no see, friend. Yeap. Got a light there? Fine cigar you got. Yep. I need something. Well what a surprise. You’ve spent all your money
in a house of ill repute again? – Still got that great sense of humour.
– You know me. Well… it’s that Jorge Casparro. He’s got the whole dang department
in his back pocket. No shit. He’s getting away with murder
and I don’t like it. What do you want me to do about it? Well… you get your job back. Don’t have to work in a barbershop
no more. His exam committee is a goddamn joke. We gotta get rid of those bastards
one by one and put some good men in there.
Like ourselves. Well, how do you wanna do that? We gotta get down
to the Sheriff’s office, take care of that necktie gang by that I mean the exam committee And make them step down.
One by one. You know, even if I do agree to do this
the two of us ain’t gonna be enough. I think I just might know a guy… Alright. Morning sir. I brought you
my corrected essay on passivisation. So… Guess you’ll be able to tell me
if it’s possible to to passivize an indirect object
in English. I’m s-sorry, w-what? An indirect object. Can you passivize it? Now get it right. Get out of my office
you yellow-bellied chucklehead! I’m sorry. Howdy partner. See you haven’t changed your way
of dealing with students. Mathias. What can I do for you? Well… Let’s cut to the chase right here. Me and Dave… That’s me. …we’re putting three guns together to deal with this Jorge Casparro. That galoot is getting out of hand. His power is growing. Pretty soon he’s gonna
lay waste to the whole dang department. Why exactly should I help you? Sooner or later he’ll come to me
for a passing grade. And he’ll fail. Unless he’s worthy of the grade. No he won’t. He’s already got his all damn grades. Even from morpho-syntax. He’s got all three examiners
by the short and curlies. Few days he’s been walking around
these halls like a master. Master of the English language. Without passing one
goddamn turtle chucking test. So what’s your plan exactly? Rush his hideout with guns blazin’? Not precisely. He’s good. We gots to beat the man at his own game. Howdy.
Howdy folks. Finished your daily prayers? What do you mean? We know what you been doing up here. W-w-well I’m not doing anything.
I’m just-t sitting here. We ain’t here to preach. We’re here to relieve you of your duties
as an examiner as of sundown. Well I don’t know about that guys, uh… Pepperoni would not be happy about that. We’ll take care of him later. We need you
to stay out of the way. Think of this as a friendly warning. What you’re doing? Why would I want to do that? You’ve got nothing on me. That’s right. Sometimes you need to improvise. That’s not very nice. – What do you want to do?
– Just try me, horny toad. You wouldn’t do that. – Oh no?
– S-stop it! Stop! No! N-no! No! No! Well guys that was easy.
Like taking a candy from a cowboy baby. Let’s drink to that. Well the hardest part
is still ahead of us. Time is runnin’ out. It gots to be prepared. I’ll take care of the other one. You two make sure
everything runs smoothly. We’ll meet on the courtyard
at high noon. – Sounds good.
– Let’s do that. OK boys let’s go. Good morning, stranger. – What can I give you?
– Whiskey. One whiskey coming right up. There you go. Think I’ve never seen you around. What brings you here? Business. What kind of business? The dirty kind. I can see you are a man of few words. I’ve always thought
my actions speak for themselves. And I could always appreciate a man
like that. I’m looking for a teacher
called Marjorie Ironsmile. Well… you are looking for her
in the right place. The one in the corner. Thank you. Oh. I really don’t think you wanna
disturb her game of cards. Why is that? She doesn’t like people talking to her
when she plays. Trust me.
There won’t be much talking. Mister, why did you choose my place
to commit suicide? – What do they do?
– A lot of things. Didn’t hear what the bet was. Your life. Oh you sure have some guts kid. But don’t let your mouth write checks
your ass can’t cash. These are as smooth as my stories… So how’s it gonna be then, huh? We’ll do the quick ol’ switcheroo
and leave? It all depends on Camille. If she’s in, we’re in trouble.
If she’s out, it’s a piece of cake. But if she’s in, we’ll have to let
the buffalo chips fall where they may. – I’ll find that folder,
you watch the door. – Alrighty. – Hey, look Matt…
– Shut it! We’ve got a work to do in here. Well, well, well. What do you think you are doing? Well… I was just…. Put ’em up. What is this? – What?
– This paper in your hand. Oh ah mommy it’s nothing ah it’s a eh it’s eh… Give it to me. Oh I see. You want to change
Casparro’s exam committee. Screw him over. Yes. And why didn’t you say that
in the first place? I absolutely hate that stinky buffoon. I’ll take care of this and you go do what you gotta do. Bravo. You almost got away with it. But as the mighty Icarus you flew too close to the Sun. You see the wax is melting down. And your wings are falling apart. You talk too much. You got the power to make this right
without so much shootin’. And to what end? What exactly do you want to accomplish? You can’t corrupt natural order. The fittest will always
prove to be superior to the others and the others will blindly follow. Wise man once said If God didn’t want them sheared he wouldn’t have made them sheep. Your pathetic attempt will end right here, Mr. Sheep. At least sheep
don’t have a language faculty, but my guns talk just fine. So that’s it. Good luck. Oh. I see. It has come to this. But you’re not getting away with this.
You know that? This time is your last time
you horny toad! Dave, go take care of those two outside. Freeze, shitkickers! This time
you’re gonna take a proper exam. No threats. No advantages. No nothing. No one’s gonna help you this time. You’re on your own, boy. You’re in no position to threaten me. Just give me my diploma or else… Or else what?! Either you pass the exam fair and square or get ready to eat dirt. Alright. If that’s the way you wanna die. Then have it your way! You! FAILED! Reckon I need a whiskey. Rest in pieces chuckle butt. Titulky: Tomáš Hubálek

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