A dad went viral
for sharing his ten-year-old– this is kind of a crummy move– daughter’s insane Christmas list
he put on the Internet. Some of the items include
a MacBook Air and Gucci slides. Ray, you have kids. Is this a normal list? I see iPhone.
I see a real bunny. -GLASER: A Chanel purse.
-SPADE: She needs… Oh, four grand she slides in. $4,000 out of nowhere. Well, you have…
You start high. You know, she’s-she’s allowing
for haggling down. SPADE: Oh, she..
Oh, you start high with Santa, -and then you go a little lower.
-ROMANO: Yeah, of course. -GLASER: Uh…
-Look at essential oil. -That’s how you spell it, Nikki.
-Oh, that’s so true. You so do. “Perfume” is spelled wrong. You should just get this kid,
like, a-a book or something. SPADE:
A-a teacher. -Yeah. -Oh, it looks
like someone’s gonna grow up to be an Instagram thot. -Yeah.
-Yeah. Does your kid have a list? Oh, my son, he–
I believe in spoiling your kids. My son has a list.
Very similar. He wants, like, an Aston Martin. -He wants a Popeyes gift card.
-Oh, is this his? -That’s his– that’s his list.
-What? -That is my son’s real-life
Christmas list. -Real? Oh, wow. -Starts with pretty simple…
-(chuckles) It builds. Then it gets–
Popeyes gift card, ’cause he… -He threw this in the middle.
Aston Martin. -Aston Martin. Sneak it by. He goes,
“Just give the first six.” I like “Popeyes gift card.” I would rather have
a Popeyes cut-in-line card. I asked him why,
and he literally just said, “I-I love that chicken
from Popeyes.” (laughing) “Toys.” Very general. -Toys. Yeah.
-Just all toys. This is why you shouldn’t– you
shouldn’t materialize Christmas -and-and you shouldn’t have
children. -Right. (laughter) Let’s hear… But I like that my son
can at least spell. -Yeah.
-Actually, he looks good. He makes letters
a little bigger. I’m getting word
on my fake earpiece that, uh, Santa has received
a copy of this girl’s list. Ho ho ho! What the (bleep)?! A little big,
but that’s all right. Um, so, apparently,
it’s rumored -that maybe her dad wrote this.
-Ah. But, actually, I think it
was JonBenét Ramsey’s brother. (gasping, laughter) It’s a d– it’s a decent joke.
I liked it. I w– I-I like it, too. I just want to say,
I don’t think this is gonna be the last time where she’s making
a list, adding an old– asking an older man for money. -That’s a good one.
-Yes, that’s great. -He kept JonBenét out of it.
-Yeah, he did. -I never do.
-Uh, in more Christmas news, millennials…
(mumbles) say doing Secret Santa in the
workplace gives them anxiety. -Mm.
-Makes sense. For millennials, Secret Santa is the first time
they have to think about somebody else
and what they want. Hold for applause. Oh. Don’t worry.
Not you. He doesn’t mean you. -He doesn’t mean…
-He doesn’t mean the only guy who saw Paddleton.
He doesn’t mean you. -I like that you saw Paddleton.
-Now on Netflix. No. So, Secret Santa’s– It’s the thing where you give,
like, a gift– You sort of know it.
It’s not stressful. If it’s gonna be ten dollars,
it’s gonna be crummy. -You know it. -Yeah.
Just a Starbucks gift card. -Yeah, easy. -Always.
No one doesn’t want that. Even, like, the guy who invented
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is like, “Sweet, a Starbucks gift card.” Like, everyone wants one. Uh, Secret Santa just sucks. Let it die. It never works well. The last time
I did Secret Santa, someone gave me,
like, a CD holder, -and that was 2017.
-Yeah. Where the (bleep)
did they even get it? I never know
what to get anybody ever. -Ray, what are…
-Brad Garrett’s birthday -was last week.
-Brad Garrett. Yeah. And I was–
What do you get somebody who has everything
because of you? (laughter) -(cheering and applause)
-No. -I give…
-I’m kidding, Brad! He knows. -Oh, that’s so good.
-Brad knows. I usually give out,
uh, headshots, but if there’s a spending limit,
I just don’t sign ’em.